The 1st kind of sex is called … Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called … Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you [...]

A successful rancher died and left everything to his  devoted  wife.
She   was a  very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place   an ad in the newspaper for a ranch   hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, [...]

Twee groot wit haaie swem in die see en sien ‘n skip wat sink.
“Volg my, seun” sê pappa haai vir sy seun en hulle swem tot by die skip.
“Eers  swem  ons  om  die mense in die water met net die puntjies van ons vinne wat wys”
En hulle doen dit.
“Knap gedaan, seun! Nou swem ons om hulle [...]

Lipstick in School (You’ve got to love this principal)
According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was
recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were
beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was
fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press [...]

BABBELAS (BUBBLE-US): Hangover. Usage: “Jeez, I had too many dops last night. I’ve got a hectic babbelas.”
BAKKIE (BUCKY): What Americans would term a “pick-up”. A two-seater light vehicle with an open rear cargo area. The rear is often used to transport an impossible number of workers who stare back at you in traffic and make you feel awkward and [...]

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
What do you say to a [...]

1. Gaan na jou naaste tweede handse klere winkel en koop n gebruikte stel ”Steel Point Boots” verkieslik size 14-16.
2. Plaas dit op jou stoep langs ‘n paar lee bier blikke gepaart met ‘n “Guns&Ammo” tydskrif en ook ‘n jagters tydskrif.
3. Plaas dan ook 2-4 groot staal honde bakke by die spul (vekieslik leeg).
4. [...]

We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of us had a President Zuma rear windscreen on it. It read: “Pray for Our President Zuma Psalm 109:8″.
My husband’s Bible was lying on the dash board & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read it. He started laughing & [...]

On the first day, God created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give [...]

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little [...]